Well that escalated quickly...

What I thought would be another week of waiting was merely a day. I barely had time to become impatient, senile, and angst-y…I said barely.

The note was simple: “Yo - sorry about your shitty luck. But the good news is - we didn’t fuck it up!”*

This news came right smack in the middle of my epic waiting time getting my second opinion.

Allow me to bitch and moan about one little thing that I find extremely annoying. If my appointment is at 1:30pm and upon my arrival I ask if the doctor is running on time and your answer is, “well he hasn’t seen his 12:15pm client yet…so you’re 6th in line” - I would like to just stop you right there.

As a human being whose time is just as valuable as anyone else’s, a simple call/text/email letting me know that I may want to stay my happy ass at work for another hour until the doctor can actually see me rather than seethe with rage in the cramped waiting room full of cancer patients would have been nice. No - not nice…respectful. Decent.

So, doctors - yes ALL of you. If you decide you want to take patients during your lunch hour, that means YOU DON’T GET TO TAKE A LUNCH. Doctors, in my eyes, want your business but many fail at one simple thing - customer service.

(Dr. Scherl - this does NOT apply to you…at all…ever.)**

I run a gym. If I have a class running even 5 minutes over time therefore making the next class start a little bit late - every single human being in the next class is aware. Not just one of them - all 30 of them. Can we not expect the same from our medical professionals…those in which we pay a bazillion dollars. My surgery is probably worth about $30k to this surgeon - yet the way my time was completely wasted today made me feel like he didn’t want my incredible business. Listen dude - I got freeendz. And Yelp. And this bitchin’ blog. Respect.***


After all the rigamarole, I kind of went south. I shut down, tried to digest the new proven facts. Who was I trying to kid? Did I really think the lab could do a major fuck up? No. Get it together, Will.

Scott, poor guy, didn’t know what to do. I was silent. He, on the other hand, would have been having a fit and he was stupefied by the fact that I hadn’t left the reservation.

"Listen, Linda. I will have my moment. But do you honestly think I will waste my complete meltdown here? In this cab? With one witness? No sir. Oh, you bet I’ll have my time. It will be the best, most epic freak show you have ever witnessed. But not now. Not here."

A side glare meant he understood that it would most like be on his birthday.

*Actual note read: “So in other words and unfortunately, both specimens came from Will and the diagnosis stands.  I am so sorry to have to give you the news.”

**As if she even reads my rants…as…if!

***I mean…let’s be real.